As an International Coaching Federation (ICF) Certified Coach, I just had to mention how Listening is a secret key. This secret tool is as important to both Coaches as well as Global Leaders.
We adhere to certain guidelines which become the foundation of our credential process. One of these standards is Listening. ICF defines the competency as, “Focus on what the client is and is not saying, to fully understand what is being communicated in the context of the client systems and to support client self-expression.” This post explores how Listening, as one of the eight ICF Core Competencies emphasizes on how Coaches, and Leaders alike, should look beyond what is being said in plain words.
This competency should be used as a way to guide you, being a Coach or Leader in all your conversation. This includes processes like everyday meetings, feedback, conflict management and simple conversations.
Listens Actively
1 – Considers the client’s context, identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs to enhance understanding of what the client is communicating
Before you even start, it is important to understand where your client, direct report, colleague, or boss stands. By standing I mean, where are they as they approach you at that moment, or in that conversation? What is the context of the conversation that is about to take place? What is the environment saying in that moment? Is it planned or spontaneous?
It’s all about understanding the person, not only the subject they initially say they want to talk about.
Clarifying what is being heard
2 – Reflects or summarizes what the client communicated to ensure clarity and understanding
3 – Recognizes and inquires when there is more to what the client is communicating
The two keys of this competency highlight the importance of assuring we are capturing what the client or person is saying. To gain perspective, we can use various tools to summarize, verify and recognize what the message that is being communicated.
Some of these tools are:
- Summarization: Reformulate in a concise manner the content of what has been said. Summarize in one or two affirmations. “So the conclusion is…”, “Until this moment we can say that …”
- Verification: Search if the meaning of a previous contribution has been understood or not or require further verification of a supposition or hypothesis you have captured. Always using a question that requires an answer. Some two examples can be: “Did I understand correctly when you said…?”, “Was that before or after such and such happened…?”
- Requisition: Looking for further information of the facts and opinions being given. This can happen when one feels there is something missing to the story the other is telling. As an example, ask, “Can you give more information on that?”, “Do you think there is something missing here?”
Listening beyond words
Here the question a Global Leader should ask themselves is, what else are they not saying? As I wrote a couple of weeks ago in my post Listening: the best intercultural tool, it’s important to remember that High Context cultures often go for the reading between the lines. One needs to go beyond the verbal language, what are their facial expressions saying? Their tone of voice? Their body language? Be curious.
Everyone has some degree of having a High Context culture, everyone expresses themselves beyond the words that are said. So both Leaders and Coaches need to integrate all these not so obvious messages to the communication.
4 – Notices, acknowledges and explores the client’s emotions, energy shifts, non-verbal cues or other behaviors
5 – Integrates the client’s words, tone of voice and body language to determine the full meaning of what is being communicated
The relationship between Listening and Silence is vital. Silence can be a powerful way to enhance a conversation, invite others to speak. But it also can feel awkward for some, which might lead people to fill out the silences. Using silences is critical: the other person should take their time to answer, complete what is on their minds, and fill in their own blanks. Fully and completely. This is what Esther Weinberg, a Forbes Councils Member, explains in her article “The Secret of Coaching Lies In The Silence: The Key Element Of Coaching That’s Underused And Underutilized”
Link those messages
The last point for this Listening Competence is to link these observed behaviors and emotions from session to session, from meeting to meeting, from group interactions to individual interactions.
6 – Notices trends in the client’s behaviors and emotions across sessions to discern themes and patterns
Make sure to include observations from previous conversations, session, meetings, you might want to bring to the table, things that have been said before. As an example, “In a previous conversation you mentioned that this happens in every meeting, is this correct?” or “You had stated in our previous feedback session that this had occurred before, has anything changed?” What we would obtain here is a trend, something that complements what the subject of what is being requested in this moment. Or also, something that has changed.
This tool is not only for Coaches, but essential to assure Global Leaders are capturing the whole message that their people, teams, and bosses, among others. Don’t forget to tie your tongue, let them talk, and use the space for discovery. There are so many things not being said, uncover them.
That’s all for today’s post, so make sure you follow these tips correctly to ensure you improve when it comes to understanding others, no matter if you’re a Coach or a Global Leader. Until next time!
